Secret Revenge Cards - Naughty ecards

THIS IS WHAT YOU PROMISED - CERTAINLY NOT WHAT YOU DELIVERED
BEND OVER
DICK WAD

YOU SPINELESS BASTARD
YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH OF A JELLYFISH…TRANSPARENT, SPINELESS AND NO BRAIN
YOUR DICK - IN WATER

YOU COLD-BLOODED, WART ENCRUSTED, SLIMY LITTLE PRICK
I WAS HOPING FOR A PRINCE… INSTEAD I GOT GENITAL WARTS
I KNEW I'D HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS, BUT YOU WERE THE WORST

IS THIS YOUR PASSPORT PHOTO?
THIS REMINDS ME, HOW'S YOUR FAMILY?
KISS THIS YOU ASSHOLE-PUCKERING SCUM

NICE PUSSY - SHAME ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY
LIFE IS MORE THAN JUST PUSSY
I LIKE PUSSY, I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU

ACTUALLY, I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH BIGGER TITS THAN YOURS
THESE REMINDED ME OF YOUR TITS
THESE AND SPENT LIVERWURST CASINGS REMIND ME OF YOUR TITS

EVEN AT THIS DISTANCE I CAN SMELL YOUR BULLSHIT
SCREW YOU, YOU BUNCH OF COWS

YOUR PELT, SMELT
AIN'T IT TIME TO MOW THE MINGE?
YOU WERE JUST AFTER MY PELT AND NOW I'M TRAPPED

YOUR REAL ON-LINE PHOTO, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH
YOUR REAL ON-LINE PHOTO, YOU BITCH
HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?

WITH THE CACTUS, THE PRICKS ARE ON THE OUTSIDE
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY - A BUNCH OF PRICKS
SPEAKING OF PRICKS, HOW'S EVERYONE AT WORK THESE DAYS?

I'D RATHER EAT MY OWN NUTS THAN BE WITH YOU
HANDLE YOUR OWN NUTS FROM NOW ON
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS TO HANDLE YOUR NUTS

YOU ARE ONE HARD PUSSY
YOUR PUSSY HAS ME SHITTING BRICKS

YOUR PUSSY IS SO UGLY IT SHOULD BE CAGED
EVEN A BRAZILIAN WOULDN'T IMPROVE YOUR PUSSY
BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP BUT UGLY GOES ALL THE WAY TO YOUR PUSSY

I WON'T BE JUST ANOTHER BROKEN CHERRY FOR YOU TO CLAIM
HOW MANY CHERRIES CAN ONE GIRL CLAIM TO HAVE?
NOW THAT YOU'RE OUT OF MY LIFE, LIFE IS…

GET SOME BALLS !
YOU'VE GOT THE BIGGEST BALLS IN THE BARNYARD
BOY, DO YOU HAVE BALLS !

CAPTIONS USE LIGHTER LANGUAGE BUT ARE STILL OFFENSIVE

donkey dong

jellyfish

toad

cow butt

pussy cat

eggs

distant cattle

pelt

bitchdog

cactus

squirrel

brick cat

sphynx cat

cherries

piggy balls