Secret Revenge Cards - Naughty ecards

YOU KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT
STARTS WITH COFFEE - THIS TIME IT ENDS WITH COFFEE
BEING WITH YOU IS ONE LONG, CONSTANT GRIND

SPEAKING OF DIRTY BUTTS, YOU'RE BUTT UGLY
YOU'RE DISGUSTING, BUTT OUT OF MY LIFE
I'D RATHER SUCK THESE BUTTS THAN SPEND A NIGHT WITH YOU

HOW DO I LOVE YOU? LET ME COUNT THE CORN
I HATE TO BRING THIS UP...BUT I'M THINKING OF YOU AGAIN
YOU MAKE ME PUKE

SEE THAT FAT COW ON THE RIGHT - THAT'S YOU. AND THE FAT COW ON THE LEFT - YOU. AND THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE - YOU TOO !
ALL I FEEL FOR YOU IS UDDER CONTEMPT

YOU'RE A ROAD LEADING NOWHERE
YOUR BUSH DIDN'T IMPRESS ME

WHAT RYHMES WITH DUCKHEAD?
DUCK YOU!
IF IT LOOKS, WALKS & CRAPS LIKE A DUCK & HAS A MEDICAL LICENCE, IT MUST BE A QUACK

YOU SURE COULD USE RENOVATING
OUR RELATIONSHIP IS IN RUINS
YOUR PICTURE PROMISED SOMETHING NEW & FRESH - THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY ARE

I'VE HAD YOU AROUND FAR TOO LONG
YOUR 'BEST BEFORE' DATE HAS EXPIRED
GIVEN TIME, YOU GROW ON A PERSON - JUST LIKE MOLD

YOU TOOK ME THROUGH THE TUNNEL OF LOATHE
YOU ARE THE BLIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
OUR TUNNEL OF LOVE - DARK, DANK AND ALWAYS DRIPPING

CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU ARE LIKE TALKING TO THE DEAD
YOU DRAIN THE LIFE OUT OF EVERYTHING
YOU'RE BORING ME TO DEATH

HOW'S THAT EXERCISE CLASS WORKING FOR YOU?
TIME TO STEP AWAY FROM THE FORK
YES, YOUR ASS DID MAKE THAT DRESS LOOK BIG

YAK, YAK, YAK. DON'T YOU EVER SHUT UP?
YOU ARE ONE BAD SHAG
NOT SO HORNY NOW, ARE YOU?

OUR RELATIONSHIP - EXPIRED AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
WHY DO YOU CARRION SERVING SUCH FOOD?
YOU CROSSED THE LINE ONE TOO MANY TIMES

YOU DEALT ME A DIRTY HAND
YOU'RE NOT PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK
I WISH I NEVER LET YOUR ACE IN MY HOLE

YOU WERE GREAT 'TIL IT ALL DRIED UP
IF I'M EVER LOOKING FOR A PAIR OF NIPPLES THAT'LL CUT GLASS, I'LL CALL YOU
IT'S NOT HARD TO GET OVER A GIRL LIKE YOU

YOU SPINELESS BASTARD
YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH OF A JELLYFISH… TRANSPARENT, SPINELESS AND NO BRAIN

NEXT TIME I WANT TO HOLD SOMETHING FLAT AND DOUGHY, I'LL GRAB YOUR ASS
I LOVED YOUR BUNS BUT YOU TOOK ALL MY DOUGH
YOU'RE A BASKET CASE

I DON'T SEE US EVER GOING IN THE SAME DIRECTION
WE JUST NEVER SEEMED TO COME TOGETHER
WHO FARTED?

JUST LIKE YOU - STUCK UP AND HORNY
YOUR BREATH STINKS - TRY A GARGOYLE
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN OLD GOAT

YOU WON'T BE PUTTING ANYTHING IN MY SLOT
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD ANY MALE IN YOUR BOX?

EWE TURN ME OFF
ARE THESE YOUR EX-WIVES?
IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT YOUR SHEEP TOGETHER

REMINDS ME OF YOU - NOTHING ON THE INSIDE
I SAW THROUGH YOU FROM THE BEGINNING
YOU HAVE A HARD EXTERIOR WITH NOTHING INSIDE

ONCE A KNIGHT IS ENOUGH
TIME TO SAY GOOD KNIGHT - AND PISS OFF!
I JUST COULDN'T GET THROUGH YOUR ARMOR

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE REACHED THE TOP OF MY DISCARD LIST
YOU ARE NO LONGER MY HUNNY BUNNY
YOU TOYED WITH ME TOO LONG - I'M ALL USED UP

YOU'VE LOST MY INTEREST…I'M WITHDRAWING
ALL YOU DO IS TAKE OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP
TRY PUTTING SOMETHING BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP FOR A CHANGE

AT THE END OF LIFE ON EARTH ONLY YOU AND THE OTHER COCKROACHES WILL SURVIVE
YOU SCALY, NASTY INSECT
BRINGS BACK MEMORIES OF DINING AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT

THE CLOSEST YOU'LL EVER COME TO BEING STIFF
I THINK THIS IS A DEADEND JOB

IT'S GOING NOWHERE - JUST LIKE YOU
THE WHEELS HAVE COME OFF THIS RELATIONSHIP
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT JUNK

THERE'S PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA. I'M LOOKING FOR ANOTHER
YOU LURED ME IN BUT NOW I'M CUTTING BAIT AND LEAVING
YOU SURE GOT YOUR HOOK IN, DIDN'T YOU?

BUGGERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS
AND YOU SAID YOU HAD YOUR OWN COMPANY
I SEE YOU USED YOUR BONUS TO START A NEW COMPANY

FOR THOSE WHO ARE RELUCTANT TO GO DOWN AND DIRTY

coffee cups

butts

vomit

distant cattle

forest trail

duck

ruin

moldy bread

tunnel

thinker

hippo

yak

raccoon

cards

busty statue

jellyfish

buns

people soaring

pan

post box

sheep grazing

hole statue

soldier

rabbit

cash machines

cockroach

gravestones

no wheels

tackle box

panhandler